Sunday, October 19, 2008

FAIL.

I just had to make this post because this is one of the craziest stories I've heard yet in college. Credit goes to a good friend of mine at UT. For the sake of anonymity, the characters in this story are going to be Leeroy and Bevo. Sorry, just something that came to mind.

Leeroy and Bevo are roommates at UT Austin. Leeroy has a pretty nice laptop. I've seen it. Cool looking Sony VAIO. I haven't a clue what the specs are, but I know it's a damn good laptop. And a damn expensive one at that. Anyways, Leeroy comes back to his dorm one night and opens up his laptop. Interesting. There is a white substance near the mouse touchpad. Leeroy sticks his finger in it, rubs his fingers together, and smells it. OH HELL NO. 
THERE
IS
JIZZ
ON
HIS
LAPTOP.
Leeroy immediately downloads a program from google that searches his computer's history and finds all the recently viewed folders. There it is. Porn folder accessed. Great. He turns around, "Bevo, I know you've been watching videos on my laptop. There is fucking cum on my laptop."
Bevo responds, "Oh sorry Leeroy, I'm trying to kick the habit."

Wow. KICK THE HABIT?! KICK THE HABIT??!! Fail. 

Fine! Watch porn! Do whatever the fuck you want! But don't go around fapping on peoples' laptops, especially your roommates! And if you accidentally do get semen on the laptop, wipe that shit off! Jeez, so fucking retarded. Bevo is damn lucky Leeroy is a nice guy. Leeroy actually cleaned off the now dry jizz himself with leftover vodka. If it were me, I would have kicked Bevo's ass and made him buy me a new laptop. I would never touch that shit again. Ever.

What would you do if your roommate nutted on your laptop? I don't think girls apply here.

I still can't believe this is a true story. I was highly entertained/shocked when I heard about this story. I hope you will be too.

8 comments:

Will_Power said...

lol

I'm sure by now everyone knows who jizzed on who's laptop.

MSchwed said...

Holy fucking shit. I now know what passwords are really for.

I'm still going to scrutinize my laptop every time I open it from now on...

Kylene said...

Leeroy is a pussy lol. he needs to stand up for himself, that shit is seriously unacceptable. there is a choice to be made here between "being a nice guy" and "being a man."

Charles said...

homophobia outrageous. How do you people ever expect to be doctors(I'm sure all your asian parents want you to be) if you would never touch a something that once touched jizz. Have you ever handled money? jizz. Ever pissed off your waiter? jizz. Touch the handrails anywhere? jizz. Grow up.

MSchwed said...

What does homophobia have to do with it?

Besides the obvious disgust factor, I think this has to do with how we expect others to respect our stuff.

JHUactuallythinks said...

In response to Charles,
1) I am not expecting to become a doctor
2) I will nut on your laptop, in your wallet, on your handrails at home, and in your food. But you're not allowed to complain because then you'd have some growing up to do wouldn't you?

Jeddy said...

Damn, I've done some pretty funny stuff on my friends' laptops but this one takes the cake.

Sergio said...

sup dude. man reading ur shit is makingme forget all about this all nighter im pullin for chem